I have a character "Joy Kamui" who is a submissive but I cannot add any rules to the character, I also believed that she had rules previously that have just dissapeared? Im not sure what happened here
Updating versions mid-save is always risky. Try forcing the refresh of the sub tag using cheats or discussing the relationship. If nothing works, you may have to swap it to another relationship or end it and engage again with the NPC once the rejection has cooled off.