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(1 edit)

It looks like this is larger than an A5 page, so ideally, you'd cut the word count back (which isn't always easy!) to fit. Most of the first page, though, is probably inessential, and is in the "nice to have" category, rather than being mandatory for the adventure.

Extremely good font choices. Classic and thematic while still being legible.

Likewise, good layout (is it Explorers?), nice choice of art and good map. I'd also add credits to the file so people can know who's responsible for it all.

A number of typos throughout -- "The Elders know how to harness the Sanguine Storm crimson lightning" needs an apostrophe S -- but nothing that makes things unclear.

All of the treasures seem very high value to me.  Player characters who finish this adventure are going to be set for a good while.

This is a very attractive adventure, but needs a polish run on the writing. I would have an outside editor go through it once the judging period is over and republish it. This has a lot to offer RPG groups!

(+1)

Thanks for your feedback!

Yeah, I went for something that was too hefty for the format. I will try to rework the word count as much as possible so it all fits better, but I think I will also create a version that is in a more comfortable format and that also include some content I had to cut!

Yeah, the layout is Explorer's. Absolutely lovely to work with. And you, I absolutely failed in the credits section, my inexperience in the exercise is biting me there: It is cited in the webpage, but will be added on the PDF as soon as the jam ends.


Thanks for your encouraging words!