Oftentimes, the more I try to explain anything at all about who I am, the less understood I feel afterward, with the replies I receive merely leaving me even more alienated than I was before. I eventually just stopped volunteering information about myself 99% of the time; and do you know what I've found?
Ambiguity is not only far less painful, but fits me like a glove.
I deeply hate it, the way it feels like any meaningful part of your identity or lived experience that you choose to reveal to others is invariably turned against you, reduced to the butt of a joke, a talking point for whatever flavor of politicking, or a weapon with which to shame or invalidate you, whether intentionally or otherwise.
In the end, I'd much rather be ambiguous, inscrutable, and unknowable than subject myself to that noxious farce, no matter how isolating that choice may be.
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Your letter is visceral, tremendously potent, and overall marvelous. Thank you very much for writing and sharing this~