it's just so vivid. the rain, the olive sky, and the immensity of the statue set the mood beautifully. i love how much the current jade order can't stand that their prophet got a little bit freaky on the side. great work fleshing out the space, it feels like everything here flows out naturally from your core concept.
a few thoughts while reading:
- the Nymph has some fun stuff going on mechanically. the kisses benefiting from seduced targets is a great touch with good flavorful "flow".
- A11 feels off to me. it's one of the few images that doesn't resonate with the rest of what's going on here. i think it's the effect of the kiss combined with depicting the woman as a demon - feels like something the current Order would create, not an ancient statue that takes you directly to the prophet. am i underthinking this? also, are there any hints to the puzzle here for parties who don't take Xuengkun?
- i really like the room of love! i know the focus is on Zalphia, but i would've liked to see the other two Desires have a prominent space somewhere in the dungeon
- there's a weird mix of ideas in terms of how this space is used. part history that the current Order rejects, part holy site that the current Order uses to push its teachings (i got the vibe it's in active renovation?), part... indiscriminate killing field? not bad weird, just weird. unsettling to chew on.
high: lots of great keys, but my fav is A18. by that point i'd stopped thinking about the whole intro hook and the brutal realistic followthrough hit like a sack of bricks. great addition.
low: these fonts are all over the place!! i think you've got such a bold visual language in the background that i don't mind a little punky chaos in the fonts, i just think you can bring that energy without using off-the-rack Impact lmao. your title font was a great pick, but it's busy and distracting as the intro text (even overlapping with lower lines in the second paragraph). i think you could have made your intro pop more by using your normal body text there to really make the shiny title font stand out. idk much about working with fonts to be clear, so, grains of salt etc.
in-between: it was a great choice to make the jade tears pantomime search for Zalphia in A20. there's no shortage of good flavor in this module, but i think you could have added a lot of depth by giving them a similar action to take in their other appearances, even if it's subtle.
overall, getting to see stuff like this is what makes the jam worth it. great work!