I really do love the concept of this project; I think Verity is a great subject for this style of Visual Novel. Whilst there's not a lot to go on so far, based on the fact this is a pre-demo taster of the game, I very much look forward to seeing what will come of this project. Wishing you the best of luck, dev; excited to see where this goes :)
I really do see potential here, and I'm very excited to see how this develops. In terms of suggestions, although there's not much I feel I can truly say, given the short length of this pre-demo (it's a pretty solid foundation for the bigger project ahead, I'd say), I do have maybe a couple of points:
- I'm not sure if it was intentional, or just a typing error, but at some point the narration briefly switched from 1st person to 2nd person 'You glance up and down the empty street'; I'm not sure if that was deliberate, as I think it may have been the only time the narration switched from 'I' to 'You', but if it was, maybe inner monologues/thoughts of the player could be in italics, and outside narration could be normal format?
- More choices would be a suggestion, but I know there will be more added and more variety in future releases, so it's not too much of an issue in reality
I'm not sure I'm really qualified to be offering suggestions, but I hope these are somewhat helpful. Can't wait to see this VN in it's completed form <3