A very interesting piece here! Very incredible for a first public piece too, well done for creating and sharing it! I played in response to a call for feedback, so now I must deliver... muhaha...
I really liked the writing style, it's very unique but still very readable and stays so until the end, it helps that the font happens to be a similar one to the one on my terminal I think.
The usage of text effects and colours throughout was handled decently well and I felt it complemented the writing nicely, though this might just be a personal thing but I dislike when text auto-progresses, as someone who reads on high cps speeds it makes it very easy to miss what was being said, though that might just be personal preference.
I really enjoyed the writing and how viscerally some things were describe, a very powerful pen indeed! It conveys feeling in a very interesting and direct way, and I really enjoyed it! I found the letter flicking to flashbacks to be a particularly standout scene, very beautifully written and well handled, a very standout moment in an already standout piece (though I found the water transition to be a bit inconvenient in its frequency) And I generally enjoyed the pacing of the story up until it's conclusion! I found the ending to be a little abrupt, perhaps a few more lines to give the reader some time to dwell would be nice, but beyond that I found the story to be communicated and paced very effectively.
A small technical issue I ran into was that sometimes while text was running along it would jolt up a little in the nvl box? I can't tell if this is intentional or a quirk of some of the text effects, but I felt it was worth mentioning. This got more prevelant towards the end.
Great job! Thank you for sharing! Hope to see you create more in the future!