I'm finally able to get to reading submissions! I started with porcelain heart because the art caught my eye. The sprites and UI were incredibly well polished and cute, and the sound design was absolutely amazing. The story felt a little short compared to all of the moving parts in the plot, and the "toxic" didn't feel quite as raw or as authentic as many of the entries from last year. Overall, a short, sweet, and cute little game that could have used a bit more spice.
thank you for the feedback!!
could you elaborate on how the story felt short? (and what moving parts?) we did want to keep this game short so i'm wondering if you meant "not enough content" short or "this felt rushed :(" short.
i also want to ask about why you think the game needs "more spice" and what you mean by spice -- do you mean like sex scenes for the sake of fanservice? generally i want to make this comment bc there are ppl who've said they wished the game had more of that, but i personally don't think a game needs to have that kind of spice to be good (though we do toe the line) and it makes me disappointed if that's what people took away from this, but i'm not sure if you meant some other kind (like the extremely toxic kind you usually see from the jam? if so yeah that is not our specialty LOL) so i want to probe your thoughts and see how we can do better while staying true to the kind of games we want to make
I think there were a few themes and characters I would have liked to have more time with, so I'd say it's less of a "not enough content" thing and more of a "not enough content for that content" thing. For example, I would have really liked to see a second scene with some of the side characters. Basically, I expected the wordcount to be a bit longer, but I understand if you had to make trade offs to get things finished in time. Everything we got was really well done too!
I don't think it needs more fanservice, in fact I thought the pieces we got were really good. What I meant was, I really wanted to hear and feel Hazel's pain and see her wrestle with her trauma a bit more directly. There was a line that said something like "she could feel a dull ache in her shoulder" And I think that was really tasteful. I was hoping to see that "dull ache" be elaborated on so the reader could feel exactly how Hazel was dealing with her trauma there. It feels like a juicy and important piece of you story, and I wanted more of it.
I agree that the narrative could be served well by further exploration of Hazel's trauma, especially in relation to how she responds to her distressing situation both internally and externally, or like how she copes. Hazel's efforts to reframe her trauma aren't often centerpiece as the plot itself takes focus, but I think there's a lot of nuance to be explored there if it were.
In other words: I would've absolutely loved more on the complexity and messiness of Hazel's feelings during ending 2
To WitchyDrop (though if anyone else reads this feel free to respond as well!): No need to respond, but I would be interested about your answer if you have any thoughts on it: Did you like anything about Mary's characterization in specific? What more would you have wanted out of it, if anything?