Incredibly well done, you did a beautiful job with establishing the characters and structuring the narrative. Your prose was nearly flawless I would say, and your art style is lovely.
I did find the section that started using a lot of technical, anatomical terms difficult to follow. At first I thought you were just overzealous in your accuracy, but your comments suggest that you were actually writing for a very specific demographic. That is interesting.
So do you think she's better off?