Insert {player name} instead of MC
MC: " You stomped on "his"->("her") foot - (Sunday later that evening 2:00am)
MC: You can't let "him"->(her") take this from you. Talking about the girl with the knife in the basement
You still have the part of planning to go tomorrow after actually going back to factory. Which is jarring when it cuts back to being at the apartment and jumping right into the sex scene that should have played after the fade to black but gets interrupted.
I'm going stop here as only some of the surface level stuff got cleaned up from last time. I'm glad you're working on it, and I was looking forward to more of an in between of what was the older version and now. I'll come back when a new version comes out.