I am not a writer at all but I gave it another try and want to write down what jump out as odd to me. The obvious thing is the pov change. It actually not very impactful. The biggest thing I think is that many part became cold descriptive compared to the old one.
For example in the very first page/ scene, where MC check his bloody wound. In the new one, you just described the wound, "A wound like that should have still been open. It wasn't." Very matter of fact, like you get a scan report read out. While in the old one, "You press in hard. The skin holds, firm under pressure that should be reopening it." There is a action by the character, reaction from it and the contradiction of the character expectation. Same information but it feels a bit more lively than the new one, imo. There are other places where it got rewrite to be dry and cold as well.
And then there are the very obvious AI-ness in the new writing. The amount of em-dashes and the "Not A, not B, just C" are very very distracting. If you were using AI before, your new AI's writing is shit. If you weren't using AI before, your writing is good enough you have no reason to use AI at all tbh.
Dang, thanks for the constructive feedback. I did throw the conversion through an AI, and thought I had done a good job editing it. I honestly don't feel good about it lol.
After your first comment I've spent the last 2 weeks going through and editing it, and getting some of the warmth back. I realize I skimmed more than I should have and considered the results good.
To that end I have 14 chapters in the works, and I THINK they're pretty good, we get some of the warmth back and detail(I hope!)
Can you give me your Patreon name, I want to hook you up with access so you can get the newest release and maybe tell me if it still sucks lol.
Thank you for your feedback, its actually REALLY helpful.