Hiii!!! Hihihihhiiiiii!!!
Opening on Fio's prayer as a child had me hooked from the jump. I enjoyed how you struck a good sense of clarity even while jumping around so much in time. In the present, Fioretta is depicted as this ruthlessly efficient girl in contrast to the absentee Apollo, and in the past we get a younger, more vulnerable Fio, and also we have an Apollo who's settled in herself and her profession and knows what she's doing, capable of coolly carrying out a premeditated murder. The way we see the shadow of her cast onto Fio in the present is delicious. Fioretta is such a cool character with a really strong introduction, and I'm really interested by her murky role in the narrative.
The mythological connections are so evocative, and Apollo's line, "I played with fire so long it made me fireproof," called to mind the theft of fire by Prometheus, in much the same way she steals young Fioretta. I really enjoy the clashing elements of the down-to-earth dirty business with the mafia, and the way it contrasts with a lot of the high-minded religiosity.
Looking forward to the way things develop in the full version!! Let me know when it's out!!! Specifically!!!! Tell me all about it!!!!!!!!!
~Pendulumgraph