It was well done. I think your writing could use a bit more linguistic nuance, which I imagine will come with experience, but the story you told felt very genuine all the same.
Now that it's all sunk in I feel very sorry for Dove. The narrative, even the game page, make it clear that her life is unhealthy; and she's likely on the edge of being homeless.
Sasha only lives that life for a day, but Dove will continue on like this; until she either dies, or gets help. The comments below reflect how Dove's abrasive characteristics rob her of all consideration and sympathy from onlookers. But she's a person too.
It's very sad to me.
