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i just finished reading this, felt the need to comment right away even though i already know ill be thinking about it far into the future too. devastating work, i felt breathless pretty much the whole time as the meaningfulness of everything continued to sink in while simultaneously new events kept punching me in the lungs. Your writing really sticks all the landings in bringing to the surface a sense of overwhelming dull pain that is sharp at exactly the right moments. thank you and i hope to read more from you in the future too

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thank you so much for reading, kolulu!! i enjoyed putting a lot of fish parallels in this, and im glad the tone was sufficiently suffocating :)