"Sheriff's been in a tizzy since one of our lights got stolen"
*nods and points* I understood that reference.
I liked this quite a bit! Like Vye below I also thought this was going somewhere radically different based on the content warnings, but I was pleasantly surprised that this leaned more towards cutesy existentialism (?) than body horror. Not that there's anything wrong with body horror, just like, stories where people just need a hug can be pretty neat too.
Breaking things down by jam criteria:
Implementation of Theme:
Sure? Kinda? It's always a little tough trying to write insightful comments at the end of the review period once twenty people have already said their thing, but I kind of fall in with the consensus here. Like, I see the superficial elements - the names of all the characters as references to mythology/angels and the tale of the lumberjack, the fairy, and the twelve dead dipshits, but I'm struggling to see how those are fully integrated into the story.
When Kali started retelling the woodsman story, I thought we were going for a reflection on how folklore is spread, with Kali bringing the story to different dimensions rather than the story being passed down through generations. That's kind of subverted when Kali's retelling sucks (even if it's still impactful to fungus El), and while that scene was really funny, it left me feeling like the folklore was a bit disconnected again since that story could've been anything. Like a few other entries in the jam, I think you checked the box here, but there were other VNs that integrated the theme into the narrative a bit more.
(As I’m writing this I see on Discord that you’re preparing a whole Thing about the implementation of theme here, and I look forward to being corrected, but right now I still struggle to see it, sorry)
Presentation:
Mostly solid across the board here. Sprites, while maybe a bit cartoonier and more exaggerated than last year’s May Wolf, were expressive and effective, especially all the variations of El. CGs were few and far between, but what was there looked really good, especially the hypnosis scene. The two versions of the woodcutter scene using stick puppets for Raphael and the doodles for Kali were also cute and a good contrast to the art style of the rest of the VN, though the backgrounds also varied a bit in style, especially with Kali’s home dimension. I’m not sure why Kali’s sprite needed to be a reveal though, as opposed to being in the diner scene from the beginning, and I’m also not sure why the Els all feel the need to carry a basketball in their underwear, but I guess it helps to be prepared if you get pulled into a sudden pickup game.
Music was a bit weaker for me – I didn’t feel any tracks to be particularly offensive, but I do think there were some missed opportunities to better set the tone. Examples that come to mind are the normal, lighthearted and slightly goofy piano theme continuing into Kali’s and Raphael’s initial romance scene, when you could have gone for something more moody, and the first arrival in Kali’s home dimension, when you could have gone for something more tense and suspenseful (I think you already do switch up the tone once the zombie appears, but you could have made this jump sooner), and maybe more somber or reflective music when encountering Captain Keyes-ified El.
There were also a few noticeable typos here and there, but nothing that really inhibited my understanding of the story, and this is pretty standard for jam fare.
Story/Writing:
Like I said at the top, generally I liked this a lot. I think you provided just enough worldbuilding to support the premise without going into unnecessary detail (even if the detailed references to previous projects may have been just a touch indulgent) and you do a great job paying off a lot of things that are set up in the intro, like Kali’s dislike of horror movies and possibly his eating habits (I’m not sure if it’s intended, but I read Kali’s gluttony as a reaction to being dropped in dimensions where he didn’t have easy access to food, especially before he got his Jedi mind trick powers).
I think the intro is well-paced too, dropping enough hints to tease that this isn’t a straightforward romance and the mundanity of the diner scene not overstaying its welcome before we’re thrown off-course into the dimension-hopping supernatural plot.
That all said, if I had a complaint here, it’s that I wish the Els, or I guess El as a concept, got developed a bit more. Like, we can see that the various iterations of El are important enough to completely reshape Kali’s perspective on his very strange life, but I wish we got more of why he/they had that effect. We don’t really get much about any of them other than caring for other people and liking big dudes, and I find it a little hard to believe that there was nobody else out there that was also nice and potentially attracted to him. I suppose you could make the argument that Kali feels that way about the Els because they were the first ones he tried making an attachment with, but that also kind of circles back to the question of why he decided to do that, and could also undercut the importance placed on the Els specifically by the end of the story.
Explanation of the theme pending, I wonder if this was something where the “folklore” element kinda got in the way. Like, instead of spending time on the lumberjack/fairy story, maybe there could have been room for more development for Kali and Raphael’s chemistry.
I feel like others have already commented on the very concise writing style that seems to be pretty prevalent here, and I don’t have much to add other than wanting to specifically call out "My hatchet is sharp, and with a single swing it is also red." which is just an absolute power chord of a line.
Creativity:
I don’t really have any complaints here. Dimension-hopping polymonogamy is a fun idea that I doubt I’ll see again in the three remaining entries I still have to review, and the visual direction was simple but effective. I don’t know if I personally vibed with this one as much as City’s Light, but this was still a really solid entry.
Final score of 18 magician’s nephews out of 2 droids that aren’t the ones you’re looking for.