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(3 edits) (+1)

This one's... weird. First off, the art and character designs are good, but I do find the lack of character expressions to hinder the game's presentation. Speaking of presentation, there's an audio issue where the footsteps sound effect will keep playing even when the party isn't walking. You can fix this by saving and quitting the game, but it's still annoying to deal with. Outside of that, the music's quite good. I'm a sucker for songs that use a Spanish guitar, and this one has it in spades. The writing's also pretty competent, with flowery (Sorry if you're a Deltarune fan) prose that doesn't overstay its welcome.

I'd divide this VN into two parts, with the divide happening somewhere after the sex scene. The first part is enjoyable if a little generic. It's a basic DnD party adventuring to defeat the evil entity (dragon in this case). The characters are pretty interesting and likable and have good chemistry with each other. Oriol is an endearing knight, while Valenti is very fun. The tone, while not cheerful, also felt like a bunch of friends just shooting the shit while adventuring. It's overall a fun ride.

Now the second half. I will get into spoiler territory, so I will put it in its own section. So, read at your own discretion.

The second half is significantly darker, as the stakes are a lot more in the forefront. There are three endings depending on what choices you make after the sex scene. I'll go from worst to best, in terms of how the heroes die. The Possession ending does a good job of showing the consequences of Robert being selfish and not wanting to take responsibility. It's pretty well written, especially with how much Oriol suffers. The Catalyst ending is interesting with how we see Robert turn into the Unity and how Coca brainwashes his victims. It's unsettling, but it's also well written. Then two characters, one of whom wasn't even in the first half and the other just a minor character, defeat Coca themselves and become the heroes instead. I'm mixed on this. On one hand, I like that Robert's party was essential to getting Coca defeated, even though they only played a small part. On the other hand, the main difference between this ending and the last ending, as far as I can tell, is that the two characters killed Coca in one ending and didn't in another, which is a bit anti-climactic. It makes you feel like there's not much of a difference between the two endings. I also feel like the scene with the two characters in both endings also drags on for too long, since we don't have much reason to care about these characters. The last ending, which I forgot the name of, is good, the two characters I mentioned aside. I like how climactic the party went, aside from Rodan, who was done dirty. It definitely was the bittersweet ending you were anticipating since the first choice.
Now, I do want to talk about how there's a bit of a mismatch with the two halves. The first half wants to be a fun adventure with friends, and the second wants to be a serious story that ends in tragedy. I don't think these two halves gel well together. I would get it if the point was that it starts light-hearted but then becomes serious, but I didn't get that impression, as the transition between the two halves is a bit abrupt. Like, I could think of a few stories that do that significantly better, but I also don't want to make any unfair comparisons. The first half wants to end with the heroes having a glorious victory where they all return home and live peaceful lives, while the second half wants set up for a heavier story. As is, the two parts are at odds with each other.

Overall, this was an interesting read, but I think the sum of the two halves leaves a bit to be desired. Hopefully you find this feedback useful for your future projects. Thank you for the VN!

Heya, thanks for the feedback. I'd have gotten to this way sooner but life's been kinda wild in and out of hospital BUT ENOUGH MOPING.

So the mismatch came about when I realized I wrote WAY too much. My initial plan was for it to start in a happy go lucky adventure, but slowly the characters realize that, yeah, they probably won't actually come back from this. That slow descent was my aim, think how soldiers in the first world war went in energized and optimistic only to have that shattered, but I can see where I missed the mark in actually doing that.  Again, a common thread in all my replies. I have 0 scope management.

As for the difference between the two good endings. My intent, was to imply that if you went back to help Valenti you would gain an ally for that step longer, to actually give you more of a gap to preform the ritual.  Meanwhile when you sacrifice him, the pair become catatonic and it doesn't really buy you any time. Maybe a little convoluted and by the time I got to making my second pass at that segment, I was sadly pretty busy. 

All in all, I'm glad you enjoyed bits, thanks for playing.

(+1)

Well, you did a great job, all things considered. As I said, you can always make work that fixes issues in your past work. Scope management is an important skill that you should get good at sooner rather than later. I know all too well about having to bite more than you can chew, so it’s not something you should ignore. Good luck with your future projects!