This VN makes a very strong first impression. Not just because of the art, which is absolutely incredible, but because it has a pretty clear narrative hook and doesn't hesitate to kick the story off quickly. It's always fun to follow around a runaway prince as he fights against his very society, and that seemed like what this VN would be. I enjoyed the interactions between Kopta and Manfrey. It's clear they know each other very well indeed. What lost me a little bit was Moon Blade/Chris, whose motivations seem to change constantly. I'm not sure if he's meant to be antagonistic or a future friend/LI. I suppose it's the latter, but that kiss scene felt really odd and out of place to me. Like, it seemed like just a desperate healing spell, one that only superficially resembles a romantic gesture, yet the characters treated it as one anyways? Even with a "morning after" scene. There's no reason for these characters to already be horny for each other, particularly with the big issue of Chris being hired to forcibly take Frey back home, so any romantic implications just feel forced to me. There's also a bit of a distinct approach to dialogue and exposition, one that very much resembles Moonlight Castle. Like with that VN, I don't consider it a bad thing, but it does get a bit up front about its morals and themes even in dialogue, to the point where it starts feeling a bit unnatural. For example, we're repeatedly confronted with the theme that "healers can't be warriors" and Manfred trying to prove that wrong, so it starts to feel a bit heavy-handed with that message. I guess I was also waiting for an emotional plot twist or something to make it more than an ordinary call to adventure beginning. For a short jam VN, I suppose I found it a bit lacking. But as a prologue to a great adventure I think it gets the job done very well. The characters are intriguing and I liked how the VN introduces a whole bunch of fantasy concepts all at once without explaining it to the audience straight up. Allows us to learn it gradually, and it's the norm for these characters anyways. I hope this continues, as I'd like to follow its future chapters.
Viewing post in My Tainted Life jam comments
Usually I let all reviews go because everyone's entitled to their opinion but "There's no reason for these characters to already be horny for each other" you see things that don't really exist. It was platonic, without any attachment at all. You read their banter as romantic which is unfortunate on your part.
I think telling the reader some things up front is fine (and apparently not enough), what you don't want to do is dragging it. That's why I focused more one liners, removing them altogether would make the story feel too fast and confusing. I get that it's not really your cup of tea, but it gets the job done.