These personal thoughts are precious, I feel. There is a tension that feels raw and true. A lot of life is rolling in dirt, but better things are possible. Parts about this I really relate to, but parts concern me.
Personally, I hope to live in a world of fairness and love, that conviction is what kept me alive from the emotional abuse I've faced. I wonder what the next year will bring?
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re: fairness, what do you do when a loved one hurts you but never fully apologises, or doesn't do so in the way you feel you're owed? what do you do when the hurt they caused can never really be "made up for" in the way we tend to conceptualise that? that's how i understand fairness. it can so often be a mental trap that keeps us feeling begrudged, bitter or despaired. it's only my interpretation of the word, though. we probably strive for the same things.