How would you rework the intro? I'm genuinely curious, and I think I can learn from this.
Viewing post in [NSFW] Bunny Hero Works Part-Time (18+ Adult Game) comments
I would try to make it a bit more cohesive. As the intro is now, it feels a bit too just thrown in the reader's face.
As i understand it, this is supposed to be one of the main motivators for the protagonist, together with the presentation of his "patron". But as it is now, it just doesn't really feel like it does an good job presenting an personality to her or the MC. Usually doing this in the start can make more people be interested them, and by extension, the story.
As i don't know how you are going to make plot work going forward, i can't really make an well structured rework of the intro. I don't even am sure about the actual genre of the story besides porn. I don't think it is necesarily an bad thing, but something that is a bit more understandable could help the reader get an better picture of your work.