I really do like stories like this, that aren’t from the perspective of the living. Ghost stories are always inextricably tied to the living’s thoughts on the dead, but we don’t always get to see the ghost humanized very well.
I think you did a good job. The story never gets bogged down with all the concerns of mortality and ghosthood, just this particular case of ‘unfinished business’. Acceptance is the clear message being sent here. While not wholly original on its own, it’s made more impactful by Beckett’s relationship to Rhett.
The choices presented to us are fine in portraying the consequences of our rejection to move on, but I feel like they could have been a little more intentional in their mechanics to really emphasize the point. That subsequent loop option could work great in that respect. Maybe acceptance should be harder to find at first? That’s only my preference however.
In contrast, the ordering of them also feels grounded in reality. I can see Beckett having each reaction in that exact order. Each ending does have a distinct connotation that feels unique and sensitive to the topic.
While emotionally charged in nature, I never did fully become enveloped. I think the writing is partly to blame. It’s not bad at all, but does a little more telling than showing. Unfortunately, the burden of creating a full story with enough meat to supplement the writing in a slim time frame AND do everything else on top is a lot, and something I can’t spite you over. Beckett helping find the remote and trying to cook are good moments that alleviate this.
It meets the brief for the theme, even if Beckett’s ghost-ness is a little nontraditional. I fear if you did try and lean into more historical ideas of ghosts, it might’ve taken from the story so I have no complaints.
The presentation was good! A nice variety of CGs and sprites (Beckett’s design is neat), music that fits and sets the tone pretty well. The opacity and movement effects tie a nice bow on everything. Game page is fun and unique, I’m a fan.
Sick first VN submission, I’m hoping to see more from you down the line.