The implementation of the theme is solid. You created a serviceable mythology for the blizzard that appears around the mountain and the reactions of the villagers to it. The details are interesting, but I feel like its mystique is undercut when it’s told from the perspective of the Fox. A deliberate choice I believe, to understand the setup for their dissolution of the curse at the end. However, I feel like that could have still been accomplished if we got to see and have that information fed to us through the conversation between Iseldur and the Fox.
That said, I do like the idea of the Fox being the protagonist and the unique perspective on the folklore surrounding themself, but maybe wasn’t the best choice for this particular story.
Story-wise, I like what you were going for, especially the tying in of struggling to let go seen in both characters and the family being the reason why the storm hasn’t quit. My opinion would be to have given that end section more time to breathe and play out (a full, paced conversation between the two would be a great benefit) and given more narrative weight to Iseldur’s decision at the end.
The lore does, at times, become a little too explanatory and once again undercuts any intrigue it may hold, such as the history and nature of the Fox. Other aspects feel like they’re missing an explanation. One more paragraph on the relationship between the villagers and the wolves would have helped make the foreshadowing a little more impactful.
It seems like the presentation was given the least amount of attention within the time constraint of the jam, which is understandable when you’re working on everything solo. Some variety in sprites and one or two more CGs would do wonders.
Noteworthy though, I will say the NVL mode didn’t always feel consistently used. I still can’t quite tell if it’s a vessel for flashbacks or expository narration. It has a positive impact on pacing the story, but I feel it needs a little more precision distinguishing the active experience vs the passive explanation.
The music does fit well with the writing. I don’t believe they’re tracks provided on the jam page and didn’t see any credits, is it something you made? If so, big props.
The writing is good. Some descriptions sit with themselves and meander a bit and there are one or two grammatical errors but nothing that pulled me out the story. I’ve got no complaints.
That sentiment extends to the creativity of the project as well. I feel like there are a lot of good ideas here, and some just need some more time to develop. The snowstorm, the villagers dealing with the Fox and the Fox’s struggle have some weight. It comes across like a parable in a way, just a little more focus would have made it truly strike a chord.
Overall, for your first public VN I think you’ve succeeded. I’m hoping you continue to make things and share them!