I like the "point" of the story but it was a little too expositiony, even in that day to routines, felt kind of choppy and matter of fact. I don't really like when these shorts have to blurt out the theme in the last paragraphs; I would prefer the risk of missing what it is to being told, personally. I think there's a banger in here somewhere and the foundation is great.
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Thats a fair criticism, honestly dropping the theme at the end was a last minute moment of doubt & I kinda wish I hadnt! 😅
The choppy exposition-y style was a concious choice though, my hope was to convey a sort of regimented dissociation... Ill have a crack at editing it to see if I can get it to convey that feeling a bit better!
Thanks for the feedback :)