I think you could have taken out the first "act." The second part is so much better and I don't think I gathered much more from it than you could have implied later. I say think because I've missed any deeper meaning behind the ending if present, but I would still take "I missed it" over "it's too overt." I do really like how well youve entrenched this story in the GF mythos though. It's very a straightward tale and it works great