Ok, first thoughts, the story is more original than I expected but I hope there is more in the near future (like actually earning money to buy stuff, which can be done if there are gaps of waiting time) but the only thing I would like to mention is that some companies offers training to new employees so they know how to operate inside the company (like workvmail) to ensure that they become accustomed with the environment.
Not sure if it can be of help for you in the long run (or make it a joke about how, due to entering by force, he didn't get the proper training to use the computer and work mail) but I hope it helps