I looked through it, you really went the extra mile making sure it would be a polished complete adventure with plenty of extra details and expanded content!
I didn't have time to read that closely but everything looks good, the biggest change (rather than addition) might be the removal of the twist around armon, but I don't know if that is no longer part of the lore or just not established in this adventure, I didn't catch many references but maybe the shower attack (and armon's situation as a whole potentially) is a psycho reference.
I intend to really look through the adventure in detail since you've put so much effort into it, and give some more feedback (certain things like monster stat blocks I really just glanced at, but even once I look more I'm not great with dnd balance so I might not have much to say) once I have time.
If I had to nitpick, there is no mention of the party resting in the book I'm pretty sure. It should be fairly obvious that they can rest in GRAMs guild along with dame gothel between trials if need be, but making it explicit might not hurt.