This was A-MA-ZING!!!! I could actually choose to kill myself, and it genuinely felt in character given the choices I had been making. It felt like the only logical outcome, and reading about a little kid biting their tongue over and over just to return to “the void” was honestly heartbreaking. Kudos for not censoring THAT choice.
I really, REALLY enjoyed how innocently crude your portrayal of certain topics is. It’s innocent enough that I never forget my character is just a kid, but crude enough to constantly remind me that this kid is completely broken.
I would’ve liked to see the reaction of the adult who was with my character when they chose to bite their tongue, but that’s probably just me being morbid.
I especially liked the fact that you can choose not to talk—not because the character physically can’t, but because they don’t consider themselves a person. When I first read that, I actually had to stop and reread it. The whole section where my character is being tortured is genuinely difficult to read, and all of their coping mechanisms feel incredibly well written.
This story is a gem. You can choose to be all sunshine and rainbows if you want, but you can also explore really deep depression and suicidal thoughts. And there are plenty of choices between those two extremes as well. It was fascinating to explore all the strange routes you can take, and none of them felt unnatural or forced.
I hope you take your time writing this, because the quality of it is absolutely worth the wait.