Thank you so much for taking the time to reply!
The third major NPC for Bio-Syn was going to be the monster, with the company staff itself being a mostly faceless shadowy force, and the corporate board being off planet. We didn’t get around to making the stats and mechanics for the monster before the deadline, and it’s the weakest part of the story, so we may cut it– the main purpose of Bio-Syn in this setting is
-A.) to apply more pressure to reuben -B.) to serve as a foil to and antagonistic force towards the church -C.) to provide a semi-plausible reason to build a giant pit that can be collapsed in the climax, and a more horror focused area.
However, all three of those things can be solved either without Bi-Syn, or more gracefully with a more fleshed out (by dum tsss) manuscript. I initially wanted to have a major NPC other than the monster– a lawyer, a corporate rep, the head of security, or a researcher– but we’d already cut an entire faction and plotline for time and space.
The main reason I feel the Godsblood stuff is necessary is because making ichor overexposure lead to the effects of the godsblood synthetic recreation would undercut some of the religious and mythological cues/themes. Part of the purpose is that the company, in attempting to recreate and commodify or even weaponize this substance, is fundamentally incapable of ever grasping the divinity that makes it what it is… they try to make godhood, and create cancer.
I could probably come up with a way to communicate those themes without it, but I think at that point we’d just cut the entire plotline and develop Reuben’s (unnamed lol) settlement and hospital more– that’s a part of the setting that personally compels me and feels underdeveloped.
Maybe we could take some cues from PLT and other political intrigue modules– and look further into some of the sources from which we’ve already pulled inspiration– and communicate something as compelling. Sacrifice some breadth in exchange for depth. It’s just… I kinda like the monster lol.
At first I was thinking this maybe just doesn’t work well as a trifold, but after rating some of the more high concept, dense submissions… I totally think we can make it work! We need to revisit some stuff, streamline some stuff (like, as much as I like spoken word, we really don’t need and can’t afford that much in this medium), and I need to do some deliberate layout work.
I definitely consider this a rough first draft, and I’m excited to work on it after receiving so much constructive feedback– that’s why I’m here!