Let's start with the good points : the story you've intended to convey was nicely told by your track. Both the melody and the structure mixed nostalgia and solemnity, and this really fitted your description. I like that you focused on the weapon manufacturers instead of the weapon itself, it's an original approach but it works well.
As for the downsides, the main critic I have is on your samples. I found them lacking quality, especially the timpany and cymbal, and it did felt anticlimactic to a point where it impacted the listenability of the track to me. It's not aggressive to the ear, but rather breaks the immersion. I understand you were looking to have a retro feeling,but I really suggest you change that cymbal sample.
I think only using trompet made the chorus kind of thin. Elements like strings, or even other brass like horns, could really add to the fullness of it, as well as some timpany rolls if you manage to find some.
Summary : good melody, nice job of recalling the melody in the chorus, great storytelling, but poor orchestration, and please change that cymbal sample
Melody clarity 5/5
Melody impact 4/5 (not 5 because it's length and complexity makes it harder to recall)
Composition 3/5 (Great structure and storytelling, but less points because of the production)
Listenability 2/5 (the choice of sounds would really break immersion to me)
Correlation to theme 5/5 (beautifully told)