"My name is not important; what is important is what I'm going to do. I just f***ing hate my hair, and the hair follicles feasting on its carcass. My whole life is just bald, bitter hairtred, and I always wanted to be bald. This is the time of revegeaneance, and no wig is worth saving, and I will put in the grave as many hair as I can. It's time for me to shave and it's time for me to mald; my hairline crusade begins... hair!"