I see the vision with this track, and I do like the vibe it creates. I think the biggest thing holding this track back currently is the lack of a bass drum hit in the percussion line. Snare drum and cymbal create rhythm and make the track unique, but the bass drum is what establishes the beat of the song (for most genres). Check out this video if you want to see a more in depth explanation (what im talking about is at 2:35, but this entire video is really good, inspired the drum parts I still write to this day). Well done!
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Thanks. I actually watch this guy sometimes(haven't watched this video though). I do have a problem with bass in general, I'd like it to be more jumpier. The bass drum is probably also the kick and yeah, I didn't include one in the track. And finding music tutorials that actually work has been a hassle I've been dealing with for months so when someone gives me a video saying that it improved the way they did drums. Of course I'll rush over.