It's genuinely incredibly frustrating how the anglo-centric white dominated spaces that label themselves leftist, both online and off, are so often ignorant of their own failures to properly interrogate their own shortcomings, to consider who they may have unwittingly alienated from their communities, whether they may have failed to see bigotry hidden in plain sight within a text. Everyone wants to think that they've done the work, that they can't be part of the problem, that they're a "good leftist". Even if they might correct themselves were they called out on it, the social cost of doing so usually feels too high to even make the attempt. Even now, I don't have the courage to speak openly as myself, and I make a secondary account to do so for fear of reprisal.
And as a "white-passing" Latino, I put up with it. I want to think that it's not about me, that they just didn't know, that I don't need to correct it, and so I just quietly choose not to look. But every so often I'm pulled out of that delusion, reminded with force, that I am not one of them, that I'm not truly welcome here, that my seat at this table is conditional. That no matter how accepting and kind they are on the surface, if I fail to perform whiteness, I may be cast out. And besides, what if I'm wrong? I'm not having that bad a time, after all, and people seem to assume I'm white, so... what if I'm considered the racist one for even speaking of it? Best to simply keep the words out of my mouth.
And so I don't talk about my race. I assimilate. I choose to keep looking ahead and smiling. I walk in and pretend I'm part of this community, while everyone looks past me and speaks over me. No one really looks at me. I'm not convenient as a token to showcase as evidence of inclusion, but I'm also not respected as a white person would be. I tread water as I reject my instincts that tell me I'm not really allowed here, ritually forget my ethnicity, but sometimes in moments of clarity when I'm reminded of what I am, I wonder if, like the Outsider, I'm part of the problem.
Thank you for making this game and for speaking your mind. I fully support you and I hope you find community with people who genuinely accept you and appreciate your work.