Greetings !
I love what you have made with this game so far and can't wait to see where this weird shaped story may go.
My only pet peeve with it would be what I would refer as, in this case, scenic indication.
Basically little additional information you put between *those*.
My opinion on their use is that they take me out of the writing.
Why? Because I'm a fan of medium which show stuff rather than tell me about it.
By that I mean that those scenic information are on stage, played rather than told about.
I believe that your writing and imagery skills are far more than enough to depict an action, emotion, or whatever needs to be said instead of falling back to some pesky, bland looking, and feeling indication.
Which I do believe are already superfluous in plenty of the scenes you have written and shown as is.
Oh!
During the first meeting with sporty girl and the actress who dressed as a nun in her first appearance, there is a sentence where I am quite sure you have forgotten to add a word.
I can fetch up more precise information on that if you please.
Thank you again for sharing with us such a promising premise!
I wish you a wonderful day.