All these comments saying they aren't necessarily the intended demographic... As a counterpart, I definitely am.
I'm a 30-something, disabled, nonbinary trans man who paused my transition twice for reasons like this. For fear of losing community, fear of being alone, being "unlovable".
This hits really fucking hard. The number of things I've gone to that are for "women and nonbinary people" and thought about "what happens when I get to the point that I consistently pass as male? Do I no longer belong there? Will I have to once again justify my existence, my presence in this place I am meant to feel safe in?
I'm at that point now-- no one assumes "she" for me anymore, don't even awkwardly go "sh... they?". just confidently call me "he", "sir", "bro", etc.. And I consistently worry about being seen as some interloping cis-het dude when I go to things with my more visually obviously queer, assumed-female partner. I worry my presence will make others uncomfortable, even though by all accounts I belong there.
Thank you for sharing this. It feels good to be seen, to see someone else express the same fears and struggles I have, the ones I have difficulty explaining.