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(+1)

This is very good! Not super flashy; headings are clearly defined, I can understand what's what. The text is clear for the most part contrast wise-- I really like this semi-plain text look, it works well (at least for my eyes as a visually impaired person).

This has a lot of good detail! I do think maybe you should bring the 'what's really happening?' section up-- GMs will likely want to know that rather quickly so they can build toward it well. 

I think maybe also you should reconsider the order of your locations. It's a bit confusing to go from the employee entrance to the roof, etc. 

A map of some sort would also be super cool, maybe ASCII??

The fact this mission includes a number of things to do is great; it breathes, feels alive. Tbe hacking stuff at the bottom is really fun, I haven't seen anything else like that out of the submissions I've rated. This feels very classic cyberpunk, but I can see it being able to be used in other sci fi genres too with a bit of adjustment. 

I think my only thoughts here on what to improve is that you might want to consider adding a bit more detail to the setting-- like more history, etc. Just to make it feel a little more like people really work here-- you're already on the right track. (:

Suggestions:

- move the what's really happening section closer to the top for the GM

- reconsider the list order of your locations

- make a small map? maps plural?

- add just a little more backstory etc to the building, elevate the sense that people work here!

(+1)

Thank you so much for the very detailed review. All points you highlight are highly valid and I will implement them in the next iteration of the adventure, which I think I will however move from agnostic to specific setting and system (Genesys RPG: Shadow of the Beanstalk).  I wanted to constrain myself and try to fit it all into two pages... so some info got lost in the cutting process. ;)