Even if the specifics of our experiences are different, I definitely understand and feel what it was like to be muzzled like this. To try to present in such a way. I mean, even still, I muzzle myself in scenarios where I present in my job as my "work-sona".
Being an it/its dog with all my heart the way I am is the thing that freed me from my muzzle in many ways. I hope that you find your happiness, Anemone.