So after reading into it more it appears I cannot avoid getting a credit card if I want to buy it now.
@Redtrainer: I'd have to recreate a new account to screenshot the request to ID myself but it's basically four options: Upload ID, another document as an alternative to the ID, webcam or different flavor of webcam.
@annuilein: Thanks for the explanation and input.
In the end, the first option of Subscribestar I won't do because of IDing, Cluster requires a credit card, which I will have to get first and the wallet shenanigans requires an ID or Credit Card also. That sucks, man, I was just a bit too late.
Purchasing the game is once again on hold, I suppose, at least until another wild payment option appears or I get a credit card which also sucks because the simplest credit card I can get is with my bank and there it costs 40 Euros per year just for existing.
Just why does the EU and China got their ass that wide open?