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(2 edits)

Firstly, thank you SO much. Reading this felt like a warm hug. 

So, so grateful that the protag resonates. I wanted to write a protag and characters who were complex and flawed. There’s no message or moral of the story. Just an exploration of human relationships and what they’re capable of. For better or worse. Oh, who am I kidding. It's for worse or worse. This is a horror story.

Honestly, I wrote Benji thinking people would hate him. He feels the most loved when people cling to and need him, so that's how he shows his love (and wishes protag would show it that way, too). He’s horrible for sure, but like you said, that yearning desperation is weirdly refreshing in a world that feels detached and indifferent. I think that’s why these dynamics get explored in fiction and scratch that itch so well. 

Protag and Benji are avoidant and anxious, respectively. They are oil and water, but they also have their own guilt and trauma that binds them. Benji’s trying to be the friend he believes he should’ve been. Protag is trying to be the person they think they should be. These things conflict constantly, and I think it could become a love/hate dynamic (if it isn’t already). 

Ellis reads a lot of old books, so the way he talks and behaves is informed by them. He was a sheltered kid, so books were his window to the world. I’d say his parents were pretty old-fashioned and eclectic as well. Despite his stoic countenance, he has big emotions that he doesn’t know how to express, so they kinda explode. Not as much now, but it still happens, as you saw at the end of Act 2. Thank you for inviting me to the wedding, btw! Wouldn’t miss it for the world!

Love your visual of Benji as the dog and Ellis as the stray cat. Spot on in so many ways! I have a rough outline of the endings, but there's one that may involve all three, though I can’t say more than that. While developing the characters, I actually had a thought that Benji and Ellis would probably be pretty compatible. I could see Ellis’s desire to preserve/protect being received well by Benji. I think Ellis would be more open to polyamory than our super jealous/possessive Benji, though. 

You seem to have a good understanding of these characters! I honestly love when people have their own theories and head canons, so please always feel free to share or ask questions! I will never tire of them, honest. And I think it’s probably every developer’s dream when fanart and fanfics get made. There’s already some amazing fanart of Benji and Ellis out there that I still cannot believe exists. But yes, if you ever create something, please feel free to share (only if you’re comfortable, that is). I would LOVE IT!

I'm so glad that you didn't mind the long ass comment. It didn't occur to me until after commenting that it was in fact a whole wall of text to get through. I just had so many thoughts because again, this game is like one of the most interesting things I've seen in a while. I love seeing all the bits of context and information you leave in the comments. It's nice to know a bit more about the characters and your thought process behind certain things. 

 I know I touched on the MC's characterization before but I forgot to mention that I really appreciate the option of agency that's given. They don't have to be passive and just let shit happen to them with no pushback. There are opportunities to pull away or stand up to Benji and Ellis. (how well they take that is... besides the point) But I think that's part of the reason that the mc feels so grounded and not like a cardboard cut out.

Also I had a few questions, which I totally get if you can't answer because of spoilers. First off, what the fuck is wrong with Benjamin? I get that what happened in high school was definitely extremely traumatizing, but like that guy is intense even considering that. (his reaction to MC's self harm comes to mind) I guess I was just wondering if there were any other factors that inform his outlook/needs and how he goes about relationships, specifically his relationship with MC. And has their relationship always been unhealthy or was it that incident that sparked it? The both of them reference "how it was before". MC talks about how much she used to lean on him and how after college she decided to stop. I’m curious about what that time was like for them and what made MC want to change? And last question I promise, just out of morbid curiosity, what is Benji’s ideal situation when it comes to the MC?

Sorry if that was one too many questions. I am just endlessly curious about them. I’m sure you can tell but Benji specifically makes me feel many different emotions and none of them should be possible to feel at the same time! I’ve already done a bit of fanart and I’d love to share but I just need to work up the nerve. (reddit scares me lol)

(1 edit)

I LOVE walls of text, so no worries there. And as you can see, I’m prone to writing them myself.

Glad you like mc’s agency! This game is essentially a character study, so I wanted choices that build (or even regress) character. We’re human, change our minds, or have lapses in judgment, so I also wanted to give chances to take things back, too.

Now, onto your questions! I plan to continue weaving bits of backstory, but happy to expand here as well. Benji became a parentified child early on, taking care of the house and mom's emotional needs (his first codependent relationship). This doesn't mean his behavior is excused by family trauma (we should still hold him accountable), but he’s definitely repeating patterns. 

I’d say Benji’s always been a caretaker in mc's life, but in smaller, subtler ways. Mc was his consistent source of attention, so there was likely some possessiveness. But after what happened, his guilt/fear exacerbated his tendencies. Mc was in and out of depression, so they didn’t have energy to stop him from taking the reins…might’ve even felt like a relief. Eventually, mc realized it wasn’t actually helping, and started to feel less like a person and more like a stove that needed constant checking.

Lastly, I think Benji’s ideal situation can shift depending on his development, but ultimately, he wants to be mc’s one and only. Platonic, romantic, doesn’t matter, as long as they need him and ONLY him. He would burn the world down for mc, but he also wants that in return. He’s not at the world-burning desperation yet, so right now, he just wants old mc back. But if continually pushed, who knows?

Hope that answers your questions! And please don’t worry, I enjoy these discussions so much! Also, I totally understand, most social media stuff scares me, too.