Post by mermaiden_mim in Dark Parts comments

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I literally didn't have an account before but this game was so amazing that I made one just to leave this comment. Like idek where to start everything is just so beautifully made. The mc resonates with me so very much from their sense of humor to their deeper issues to all the avoidant attachment bullshit, and I can tell a lot of care was put into handling their struggles.

Benji is... a disgusting creature but I'm obsessed with him. Explorations of codependency in media are some of my favorite things, so he definitely scratches that itch. There's just something about a weird and messy friendship with so much history behind it, and freaked romantic tension that never gets addressed bubbling beneath.

I appreciate how despite his desire for more control in mc's life it's still kinda hard to be intimidated by because he's just so pathetic? (and I LOVE a pathetic man) Like it's all driven by his desperation to stay in our life and painfully obvious yearning. Just his flippant disregard of even attempting to sound healthy or well adjusted says it all. I mean the man literally confessed that he would do anything, be anyone, if we so desired. Like boundaries? What the fuck are those??? Just intense and clingy all around, to the point that it's a known problem that effects all his relationships. He is catnip to me specifically and there is no rehab in sight.

The "I miss you" text message scene stuck out to me in particular. The way the music starts when you choose to feed into behavior that is decidedly wrong. Like it's signifying a point of no return or something, cementing the same old pattern that they've both been unable to tear themselves from. It makes me feel a lot more when it's not the explicitly romantic route. Because what do you mean that you miss a friend so much you cant sleep and you're counting the hours until you can see them again...like omg shut the fuck up. I could yap about him for ever and ever but in short I want to know everything about him, and I want to see him worse, and I want him to ugly cry.

And I know I spent like way too much time talking about that other asshole but Ellis is so very near and dear to my heart. There's something so endearing about his everything. The way he speaks and that whole gothic Victorian thing he's got going on is so sweet. Everything about him is so tragic and whimsical, I am enthralled and mystified by this strange man and his misunderstanding of social conventions. The weddings tomorrow and you're invited!

I love that despite the red flags literally everywhere that there's still a weird innocence and chaste sincerity to him. He just wants real connection and after everything he's been through it's extremely difficult not to empathize with him. He has so much to give that it scares most people off. I was almost surprised by the escalation in his more negative endings but then I thought about it for like a couple more seconds and no yeah that checks out.

If Benji is a dog waiting by the front door, Ellis is a stray cat out in the rain. Crossing my fingers for polyamory ending (I know my greed is sickening) but I think they might just end up killing each other? In all seriousness this is not just my favorite visual novel but like my favorite thing right now. I was devastated when I finished the game because I knew I'd have to wait a while for more. (I am capable of patience please take all the time you need) it's been on my mind since I finished playing it. I swear there needs to be more fanart and stuff, I might need to be the change I want to see in the world. If someone was trying to trap me, under the box being propped up by a stick would be this game.

Memo20 days ago (2 edits)

Firstly, thank you SO much. Reading this felt like a warm hug.

So, so grateful that the protag resonates. I wanted to write a protag and characters who were complex and flawed. There’s no message or moral of the story. Just an exploration of human relationships and what they’re capable of. For better or worse. Oh, who am I kidding. It's for worse or worse. This is a horror story.

Honestly, I wrote Benji thinking people would hate him. He feels the most loved when people cling to and need him, so that's how he shows his love (and wishes protag would show it that way, too). He’s horrible for sure, but like you said, that yearning desperation is weirdly refreshing in a world that feels detached and indifferent. I think that’s why these dynamics get explored in fiction and scratch that itch so well.

Protag and Benji are avoidant and anxious, respectively. They are oil and water, but they also have their own guilt and trauma that binds them. Benji’s trying to be the friend he believes he should’ve been. Protag is trying to be the person they think they should be. These things conflict constantly, and I think it could become a love/hate dynamic (if it isn’t already).

Ellis reads a lot of old books, so the way he talks and behaves is informed by them. He was a sheltered kid, so books were his window to the world. I’d say his parents were pretty old-fashioned and eclectic as well. Despite his stoic countenance, he has big emotions that he doesn’t know how to express, so they kinda explode. Not as much now, but it still happens, as you saw at the end of Act 2. Thank you for inviting me to the wedding, btw! Wouldn’t miss it for the world!

Love your visual of Benji as the dog and Ellis as the stray cat. Spot on in so many ways! I have a rough outline of the endings, but there's one that may involve all three, though I can’t say more than that. While developing the characters, I actually had a thought that Benji and Ellis would probably be pretty compatible. I could see Ellis’s desire to preserve/protect being received well by Benji. I think Ellis would be more open to polyamory than our super jealous/possessive Benji, though.

You seem to have a good understanding of these characters! I honestly love when people have their own theories and head canons, so please always feel free to share or ask questions! I will never tire of them, honest. And I think it’s probably every developer’s dream when fanart and fanfics get made. There’s already some amazing fanart of Benji and Ellis out there that I still cannot believe exists. But yes, if you ever create something, please feel free to share (only if you’re comfortable, that is). I would LOVE IT!

mermaiden_mim19 days ago

I'm so glad that you didn't mind the long ass comment. It didn't occur to me until after commenting that it was in fact a whole wall of text to get through. I just had so many thoughts because again, this game is like one of the most interesting things I've seen in a while. I love seeing all the bits of context and information you leave in the comments. It's nice to know a bit more about the characters and your thought process behind certain things.

I know I touched on the MC's characterization before but I forgot to mention that I really appreciate the option of agency that's given. They don't have to be passive and just let shit happen to them with no pushback. There are opportunities to pull away or stand up to Benji and Ellis. (how well they take that is... besides the point) But I think that's part of the reason that the mc feels so grounded and not like a cardboard cut out.

Also I had a few questions, which I totally get if you can't answer because of spoilers. First off, what the fuck is wrong with Benjamin? I get that what happened in high school was definitely extremely traumatizing, but like that guy is intense even considering that. (his reaction to MC's self harm comes to mind) I guess I was just wondering if there were any other factors that inform his outlook/needs and how he goes about relationships, specifically his relationship with MC. And has their relationship always been unhealthy or was it that incident that sparked it? The both of them reference "how it was before". MC talks about how much she used to lean on him and how after college she decided to stop. I’m curious about what that time was like for them and what made MC want to change? And last question I promise, just out of morbid curiosity, what is Benji’s ideal situation when it comes to the MC?

Sorry if that was one too many questions. I am just endlessly curious about them. I’m sure you can tell but Benji specifically makes me feel many different emotions and none of them should be possible to feel at the same time! I’ve already done a bit of fanart and I’d love to share but I just need to work up the nerve. (reddit scares me lol)

Memo17 days ago (1 edit)

I LOVE walls of text, so no worries there. And as you can see, I’m prone to writing them myself.

Glad you like mc’s agency! This game is essentially a character study, so I wanted choices that build (or even regress) character. We’re human, change our minds, or have lapses in judgment, so I also wanted to give chances to take things back, too.

Now, onto your questions! I plan to continue weaving bits of backstory, but happy to expand here as well. Benji became a parentified child early on, taking care of the house and mom's emotional needs (his first codependent relationship). This doesn't mean his behavior is excused by family trauma (we should still hold him accountable), but he’s definitely repeating patterns.

I’d say Benji’s always been a caretaker in mc's life, but in smaller, subtler ways. Mc was his consistent source of attention, so there was likely some possessiveness. But after what happened, his guilt/fear exacerbated his tendencies. Mc was in and out of depression, so they didn’t have energy to stop him from taking the reins…might’ve even felt like a relief. Eventually, mc realized it wasn’t actually helping, and started to feel less like a person and more like a stove that needed constant checking.

Lastly, I think Benji’s ideal situation can shift depending on his development, but ultimately, he wants to be mc’s one and only. Platonic, romantic, doesn’t matter, as long as they need him and ONLY him. He would burn the world down for mc, but he also wants that in return. He’s not at the world-burning desperation yet, so right now, he just wants old mc back. But if continually pushed, who knows?

Hope that answers your questions! And please don’t worry, I enjoy these discussions so much! Also, I totally understand, most social media stuff scares me, too.

itch.io

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