On Preference toward Sub-Bottom MC
God, Maul is a fantastic bully, dominant top (DT) character. You wrote him well. With me being a DT, he pissed me off the most because all the things he said was everything I wished I could do to him.
This is a good sign: I wanted to self-insert myself as him because I'm a DT. Which means his dominance toward the MC and bullying is believable. He knows how to push buttons. Superb character-writing on your part, Hyao.
There is this nagging feeling within me: I wish I could f*ck (or DT'ing) Maul. I wanted to make him submit to me so much. Turning a DT into a submissive bottom (SB) is a huge kink of mine.
However, from the way I see it, I do not think you intend to make this a choice in the future? — having Maul submit to MC, I mean. That is okay if you want to keep him strictly a DT. That is a believable and reasonable choice. I assume that there's not much DT players to begin with, too.
This leads to my next (likely biased) observation: there are more DT enemies/NPCs than submissive bottom (SB) enemies/NPCs. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong because I am biased; I play only the DT MC route. We have Ste, Gunnar, Maul, Khalgor, Booner, etc. All of which seemed to be strictly DTs. As for SB enemies/NPCs, I believe there are Logan, Everett, perhaps Barrel, and a couple more.
The dialogue for DT NPCs appeared to be very variational and creative while when the MC is the DT, the MC doesn't say much. In short, DT MC seems to be not-so-verbal compared to other NPCs.
This is my biased comment on this matter. If it is not truthful, then I apologize for my biased observation in advance. I did not intend for this comment to undermine your writing in anyway, the worldbuilding you did and the scale of the story alone is very interesting enough. The characters are dynamic too. Thank you for such a splendid work. I have been playing this game for years already, haha.
On Black Wolf Arc
This is the most interesting story, I believe, in Lustful Desires. The Black Wolf is a really competent man who can stand his ground. His presence is naturally dominating and intimidating. His gentle nature is simply hidden behind his rough exterior, as evident from the short interaction between a child playing-fight in the fishing village before the residents evacuated from the village. The decision to have us explore the history of Mythshore, Northcrest, Crestshore, etc. through the lens of The Black Wolf is a great decision as we get to see the world through his lens and understand his connection between different people.
He is a fresh NPC/MC, compared to other FVNs, where the MCs are simply incompetent, emotional, punching bags. The influence of The Herbalist might a little bit over-the-top considering how he could appear everywhere so conveniently, but that's okay, this game focuses on the consequences of actions. I have no problem about that at all. No need to do anything about that!
But what makes me like The Black Wolf as the MC more than The Herbalist is because we see how his plan failed and how there are risks in his plan: fighting the white tiger in Crestshore and lose. Nothing could go smoothly. He is calculating and methodical. He faced the almost insurmountable problem and came up with a solution at the risk of his well-being.
Most importantly, he DEALS with the CONSEQUENCES. His action isn't meaningless. It affected everyone. He finds new solution after losing the first fight against the white tiger. He relied on Ruben's help in Mythshore and Northcrest.
We got to see how he influences the world around him and how Northcrest and Bareshare are connected. The world no longer feel disconnected. Bareshade is no longer just another village but it was once a stopping point for The Black Wolf. The Lizard Tribe also met with this prominent figure once, even though Rhot kept it a secret.
I hope we will get to see more content about him in the future. But, it is understandable if he is simply a one-off character for just one event. I hope we could find a cure for him.
Notes on Writings
We see how there are books about Northcrest, history of Human, etc. in the game. I really wanted to read about them, but I could only see a summarized description of these books when inspecting them in my inventory. It would be nice to get to read them for real, just a part of it is enough, to see how the kingdom prosper and rise to glory.
There are filter words in some narration and some sections could be a lot briefer for the points it tried to convey. (Not the dialogue, but the narration itself.) This is just line-editing and polishing work, which is a huge-pain-in-the-ass. I know because I also write stuff myself, and editing these things are not easy at all. Sometimes it paid so little for the amount of work it took, too. But sometimes, it made everything feel much better to read and the story progresses more naturally, too.
Also, going back once more to The Black Wolf story arc, I really like the way everyone speaks! I really like the grammars and words!
Splendid work, Hyao.