Y'all have no idea how much I want to f*ck that green orcs ass and humble him. I can see why people who loves getting humiliated will be gagging on that green big boy's d*ck, but an option for him to treat us on equal footing while sharing Orak will be nice too.
You know what? I'm writing the fic now. Lmao
On Preference toward Sub-Bottom MC
God, Maul is a fantastic bully, dominant top (DT) character. You wrote him well. With me being a DT, he pissed me off the most because all the things he said was everything I wished I could do to him.
This is a good sign: I wanted to self-insert myself as him because I'm a DT. Which means his dominance toward the MC and bullying is believable. He knows how to push buttons. Superb character-writing on your part, Hyao.
There is this nagging feeling within me: I wish I could f*ck (or DT'ing) Maul. I wanted to make him submit to me so much. Turning a DT into a submissive bottom (SB) is a huge kink of mine.
However, from the way I see it, I do not think you intend to make this a choice in the future? — having Maul submit to MC, I mean. That is okay if you want to keep him strictly a DT. That is a believable and reasonable choice. I assume that there's not much DT players to begin with, too.
This leads to my next (likely biased) observation: there are more DT enemies/NPCs than submissive bottom (SB) enemies/NPCs. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong because I am biased; I play only the DT MC route. We have Ste, Gunnar, Maul, Khalgor, Booner, etc. All of which seemed to be strictly DTs. As for SB enemies/NPCs, I believe there are Logan, Everett, perhaps Barrel, and a couple more.
The dialogue for DT NPCs appeared to be very variational and creative while when the MC is the DT, the MC doesn't say much. In short, DT MC seems to be not-so-verbal compared to other NPCs.
This is my biased comment on this matter. If it is not truthful, then I apologize for my biased observation in advance. I did not intend for this comment to undermine your writing in anyway, the worldbuilding you did and the scale of the story alone is very interesting enough. The characters are dynamic too. Thank you for such a splendid work. I have been playing this game for years already, haha.
On Black Wolf Arc
This is the most interesting story, I believe, in Lustful Desires. The Black Wolf is a really competent man who can stand his ground. His presence is naturally dominating and intimidating. His gentle nature is simply hidden behind his rough exterior, as evident from the short interaction between a child playing-fight in the fishing village before the residents evacuated from the village. The decision to have us explore the history of Mythshore, Northcrest, Crestshore, etc. through the lens of The Black Wolf is a great decision as we get to see the world through his lens and understand his connection between different people.
He is a fresh NPC/MC, compared to other FVNs, where the MCs are simply incompetent, emotional, punching bags. The influence of The Herbalist might a little bit over-the-top considering how he could appear everywhere so conveniently, but that's okay, this game focuses on the consequences of actions. I have no problem about that at all. No need to do anything about that!
But what makes me like The Black Wolf as the MC more than The Herbalist is because we see how his plan failed and how there are risks in his plan: fighting the white tiger in Crestshore and lose. Nothing could go smoothly. He is calculating and methodical. He faced the almost insurmountable problem and came up with a solution at the risk of his well-being.
Most importantly, he DEALS with the CONSEQUENCES. His action isn't meaningless. It affected everyone. He finds new solution after losing the first fight against the white tiger. He relied on Ruben's help in Mythshore and Northcrest.
We got to see how he influences the world around him and how Northcrest and Bareshare are connected. The world no longer feel disconnected. Bareshade is no longer just another village but it was once a stopping point for The Black Wolf. The Lizard Tribe also met with this prominent figure once, even though Rhot kept it a secret.
I hope we will get to see more content about him in the future. But, it is understandable if he is simply a one-off character for just one event. I hope we could find a cure for him.
Notes on Writings
We see how there are books about Northcrest, history of Human, etc. in the game. I really wanted to read about them, but I could only see a summarized description of these books when inspecting them in my inventory. It would be nice to get to read them for real, just a part of it is enough, to see how the kingdom prosper and rise to glory.
There are filter words in some narration and some sections could be a lot briefer for the points it tried to convey. (Not the dialogue, but the narration itself.) This is just line-editing and polishing work, which is a huge-pain-in-the-ass. I know because I also write stuff myself, and editing these things are not easy at all. Sometimes it paid so little for the amount of work it took, too. But sometimes, it made everything feel much better to read and the story progresses more naturally, too.
Also, going back once more to The Black Wolf story arc, I really like the way everyone speaks! I really like the grammars and words!
Splendid work, Hyao.
Sorry for late response. I have this problem with most of my FVNs. Northern Lights, Raincheck, After Class, The Smoke Room, etc. I don't have any issues with my laptop. The antivirus will keep notifying me that these FVNs' files are threats to my laptop though, but other than that everything is working fine. The FVNs I downloaded come straight from the publisher, so there should be no malicious files, but I still face this problem. And if I forget to disable the anti-virus and play the game, the system will register the file as corrupted and don't allow me to open the game anymore, thus I have to re-download the entire thing.
Hey there, a little question. I just want to know if there is/will be any difference between the public and patreon version? The HD CG of 10$ tier is obviously not going to be the same as public version. Are there side stories or game mechanics that can only be accessed via patreon build? Thank you in advance!
Holy crap, the writing is so good WTF????? I didn't expect it to be this good. Emile x Jebidiah's story is so freaking mesmerizing to read and tear-jerking since many of us could relate to the guilt that Cody had, convincing ourselves that for the rest of our lives we would not receive any love for we are 'defectives'. And at first when Cody mentioned Billy, I thought that Billy did something really bad to Cody or things like that, but it took me by surprise. The story made sense, Cody's inspiration came from his life events and stuff. God, this was such a good read. Please, I beg all of you. More of this please. I didn't expect much since I thought this would be just a smut version of NL, but damn hell I'm loving this experience. The ending of Emile x Jebidiah story was really bittersweet too.
I'M ON MY KNEES BEGGING YOU TO KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. T_T
STOP MAKING ALDRIC SUCH A LOVABLE GOOFY FURBALL PLS. My heart yearns for more and I want to hug him so bad just because he simply exists.
Simping aside, the writing is solid top-tier, undoubtedly. I've read a fair share of (furry) visual novels, and this one's story line and character interaction is really interesting. The plot line makes sense and the character development is really realistic, in a sense that it feels natural. Kudos to the team!! The artwork is mesmerizing too! The landscape is breath-taking and that specific scene of MC with Aldric eating food in MC's room is just *chef-kiss*; I have no proper adjective for such a blissful sensation. The artwork is just that good. I now demand 100 chapters by tomorrow. lol, jk. Keep it up! This (visual) novel has a tons of potential!
I think the reason that they aren't in the CH tabs is because they are side-characters. I don't recall any by the name of Amos, probably because I forgot or they might be in Ander's route, which is the only one I haven't read.
Braum and Gordon are the member of Highwell Uni.'s basketball team, you can see them talking to us in the gymnasium in Gil's (don't call him Gilbert) route.
Alex, if I recall correctly, he's Mark's brother. You can see Mark knocking on a certain door at his home when he was heading off to school or going out in Mark's episodes, albeit his knock was never answered because if I'm not mistaken, Alex is already dead. Mark just knock the door for the sake of remembrance.
Edgar is Walter's (our MC) father. He's friend with Mark's dad: Mr. Thorton, who is the owner (or a board director) of Lars' previous workplace. Not much could be said beyond this point since some of them were in the patreon build.
Albeit, I find the lack of story progression at the moment to be quite irritating, but perhaps Andy had something in mind and that he's still building up until it all reveals.
I don't understand, the previous icon style is already fine. I'm not saying that the artist did a bad job, the new icon is just not "fitting" in a sense. The character sprite art style and the icon doesn't goes well together, since the art style are different. I don't think that anyone has trouble with the previous style, so please, consider changing it back. Thank you.
Edit 1: Or just like Swertzo in this comment section suggested: having an option to switch between the older sprite and the new one. I had asked my friend about the sprite and he said that the new one is to his liking, so having an option would be best for both sides.
It's like you paid a monthly gym membership but they close the gym for some period of time without knowing when will it be back and without any crucial update on the gym's situation; why did it close? No one knows. When will it be back? No one knows. What happened? No one really knows. Where can we check the updates then? You know, on our instagram where we only post about our staff and stuff but nothing much related to the gym itself as a whole.
https://lustful-desires-wiki.fandom.com/wiki/Aphrodisiac
Here, the recipe is already in there for a long time tbh. You might not noticed it, idk.
I'll put my comment here, though I don't know whether you'll see it or not. There are some aspects of Walter that I do agree with the original comment, e.g., sometimes he seems to be quite dull, like when others are talking and there's a chance that they could be hiding something. (I know this is your story and you're free to shape it however you want, and you're the only one who knows Walter's personality the best.)
However, if I were Walter and somebody was talking about things that could be related to me, I'd definitely eavesdrop a little in case there is something I should be aware of. Although, you might argued that Walter's emotional state is quite a mess due to his memory loss.
Then another point could be made; there were several times that Walter decided not to ask an important question because of "courtesy" or some sort? Like in the Gil's route: there was a time when Walter could ask about "why did he lie to Walter," (I'm not quite sure what Walter meant by this line though.) He could have asked though questions several times but he decided to remain silent. If it was to extend the plot for a bit longer, then I think there might be a better way to shape those dialogue, like make Walter go around the question a bit and make Gil spill something without his realization.
The dialogue of each character seemed natural enough, there might be some that seems odd, but I don't really know how to improve because I'm also struggling writing those kind of conversation between characters lol.
Another point I'll agree with the original comment is that romanticizing Gil's harassment is quite off for now, but I prefer to think that maybe there might be more backstory between Gil and Walter, which made Walter responds to Gil's behavior subconsciously like the way he is. Still, I'm a Gil fan, and I tease my close friend like that occasionally, and we didn't mind it... so the fact that I'm mostly fine with Gil's behavior might stemmed from this.
Overall, there are still room for improvements of writings, dialogues, and character development, but that takes time to improve. Keep it up! : D
P.S. I find the original comment to be too harsh and things could be phrase a little bit more constructive, but again, I'm not him/her/them so I don't know what the commenter saw.
I had the same problem, but I didn't have time to try out my solution yet. What came to my mind was the Bareshade expansion has to be done before we progress the Troubles in the Den, e.g., by not entering the Wolves' den when Logan was still in there, and finish the Bareshade Expansion before going in there.
