Congratulations on making your first VN! I think you did a good job, I really like the art style with the sprites, and the music/ambience choice for the walking home segments was definitely creepy.
I think you conveyed some interesting story elements, and although there are parts where I felt the writing was lacking, and some of the narrative conclusions weren't satisfying, overall I love what you did to make this and I think you should keep making more visual novels and telling stories!