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I think I did things out of order a bit and the game became a bit messy.

I waited quite late to get the second floor of the hotel, and got the android, Felicity and Emma, and Autumn very quickly one after another. But then The dialogue with Ellen to ask what's in the door behind the desk disappeared and sometimes she goes missing and I can go visit her in her room. 

There was never any event to introduce me to Ellen's room or anything like that, and although it was mentioned that the Android came from the room behind the desk, I never got to get the proper answer from Ellen or go inside. 

Is the room behind the desk the "Sanctuary" that I can upgrade? Did I actually miss some events or is this just the way it's supposed to happen?

The sanctuary is the door that you check your mail on it actually is a whole different building I believe it's for where the dungeon is but I may be thinking that's wrong.

Yes, she spends time in her room in the afternoon.