Thanks for watching and the thoughtful comment, I appreciate it! I think you're spot on that it needed more room to breathe. I actually had a second note writing scene where the main character writes "Dear Mom and Dad," before crumpling the paper up and tossing it, but ran out of time and had to cut it. Letting the final shot linger for longer is a good call too.
Also I've been copy pasting the following from other comments to help explain the ending:
Re: the ending. The irl sketch is supposed to be a marionette/puppet kind of thing that has been ripped apart from the strings. The idea is that the main character has finally reached a point where he can't pretend to be someone else any more and the opening of the curtain was showing him kind of escaping. The parents coming to talk to him are 5 seconds too late, as he has already made his mind up. I don't think I did a great job of showing this in the cutscene lol.