i think love means “to accept oneself and another unconditionally”.
humans like other apes are social animals, which is why we experience fear of loneliness and rejection so strongly. being away from other apes in the wilderness means death to the solitary ape. this is what our limbic system probably still tells us or something. when we have to choose between our attachment (leash) or preserving the self (gnaw), our programmatic response is to choose the leash, even if that means we will wither. its an impossible problem.
to truly love someone is to show them you will always accept them, even if they gnaw, removing the impossible choice, and empowering them to fight for their self. it may not save the other person, but i think it’s the most you can do.