I'm kinda struggling with how to write about this one. I wouldn't consider this a "negative" review at all - I actually really liked this. It just felt like something was missing to really satisfyingly "click" for me and to elevate this to near-perfect. I'm not sure what exactly that "something" is, but I'll toss out some ideas below.
Spoilers and such going forward.
Before I get too far deep, I want to acknowledge the presentation, which was exceptional. Alan's sprite looked great, as did the CGs (limited as they were - it's a jam, I get it) and the UI. The semi-pixelated visuals and chiptune soundtrack really helped sell the often underutilized optional retro tech jam theme as well as the VN's central thematic throughline. Writing was mechanically solid with only a few proofreading errors, which is always great to see. I did notice the BGM seemed to jump in volume after the pair puts in their orders (easily fixed in the settings) and that the "damage" SFX continues to play even in a situation where Saul ditches the "score meter", which I'm not sure was intentional. This was also through testing some fringe branches that most players might not even see, so not really a big deal. No other dings on presentation for me.
Getting more to the point, I see what we're trying to do thematically here. Both of our characters are speedrunners, and they're visualizing the date like they would a game. The "score meter" is an arbitrary abstraction of Saul's confidence (which isn't a bad thing; video game points are just arbitrary indicators of perceived skill as well. That said, I think an HP bar might have been more effective than a score in this instance) and even the stylized visuals could represent Saul's perception of the scene (though I find this less likely given that the beach scene is still similarly stylized).
Further, the coin represents both characters not just visualizing, but approaching the date as they would a speedrun. They're striving for the perfect result, so they instinctually reset and start over at the first sign of a mistake. A great example of this is the first choice, which allows the player to open the conversation trying to talk about video game drama and subsequently results in an "insta-death" because, even though that situation could have been easily salvageable, Saul perceives it as much worse than it is and the script isn't ready to broach that conflict yet.
This is all good stuff, and the line-by-line conversations work well to develop the pair's chemistry along the way (mostly. I'll get to that. Next month, at this rate), but as stated above, I just didn't fully get onboard, and here are a few possibilities as to why:
- Everything about this setup is extremely contrived. Yeah, I know it's not the point, and we're not supposed to think about it too hard. But the central mechanic is a magic coin that the narrative practically trips over itself explaining is only useful for basically this one exact situation. Can't use it for any major events, can't use it to cheat at games, can only do it if there's a convenient nebulous slot. I was expecting there to be some kind of reveal about the coin, but I did not get that and it appears to just be a plot convenience. On top of that, we're using the coin on a date, which we just happened to get even though we do not got game, with a guy that just happens to be our biggest internet rival, who just happens to live in the same town as us, who also happens to be super hot, who happens to swing the same way as us, and that we somehow knew nothing about going into this date. Like, again, I know it's not the point, but my suspension of disbelief can only take so much. I think it would have been more of a twist and probably more interesting if Alan wasn't Elkinator, but rather one of his myriad goons that had been harassing Saul. Add in some additional detail about them chatting about games or other nerdy stuff on the dating app, while still being cautious about speedrunning, and the setup feels like far less of a stretch.
- There are some major opportunities for ludonarrative dissonance in this VN. No, wait, don't go, I'm being serious. One of the key sub-themes we have here is this idea of trust and deception with the use of the coin; constantly restarting a game is one thing, but what happens when the game you're playing has feelings and is also playing back? That said, I'm noticing some other comments saying they didn't use the coin very much at all, and I didn't either during my first run. There was the one mandatory use in the intro, and I intentionally chose the "musk" bad end just to see it, but otherwise I didn't use the coin even once. So when Saul grabs Alan's hand, asking him how many times he's reset, and Alan counters with the same question, I didn't feel any gut punch of guilt there because I never actually reset, or ever remotely felt the need to (outside of that joke ending, which I'm considering "non-canon" for this purpose). There actually might be another disconnect with this message too - the implication is that at least somebody is abusing the coin, whether it's you or Alan, depending on your choices, and given these guys' respective issues, despite the conclusion that going on without the coin is the best way to go, I'm not sure they ever would have reached their "happy ending" without it.
- I never felt like I was really immersed in Saul's perspective. As stated above, the game is framing choices and reactions to represent Saul's anxiety, but ultimately I think I didn't use the coin in situations where Saul would have because I wasn't playing as Saul, I was just playing as armoredopossum. So I very freely made choices (e.g., being very open about the speedrunning and confronting Alan on it at the first opportunity) that Saul would've greatly struggled with, and this contributes to the issue above of the conclusion not fully resonating with me. I know it's a lot to ask for a jam submission, but I think if there were ways you could've further played with like tense or foreboding music, or more visually angry or displeased expressions for Alan, that might not actually be happening in the scene (e.g., Alan isn't actually giving that expression; Saul's mind is exaggerating) that could have helped "force" the player to play as Saul so the end would have more of an impact.
- Only half of the conflict feels resolved at the conclusion. We have a path forward on the deception and honesty bit, but I feel like there's this whole other angle about understanding that there are actual people behind semi-anonymous usernames on the internet (not me, of course. I'm just a rogue unshackled AI posing as a furry) and considering that before making assumptions about them and behaving cruelly as a result. This angle might have been cut down due to jam restraints, but it still felt like an extremely fast sequence to go from "You could have just given up on the run!" which is a "go touch grass" worthy comment that would have been enough for me to walk out on this dude to kissing on the beach like ten minutes later. This is more minor in my opinion to the earlier points, but like, damn, could he at least have called off his goons before he went in for the kiss?
I know that's a lot, but like I said, I still really enjoyed this and can appreciate the mountain of effort that went into getting this done on such a short timeframe. Hopefully you find at least some of this useful ^^"