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Damn is this the Toxic Yuri Jam instead?! This was pretty great though, I like how brutal and raw it gets. Some feedback I have is that there are some typos, like using "your" instead of "you're" and even the first choice's second option doesn't make grammatical sense, though if you are ESL I can understand why that is the case. Overall, the writing could use some touching-up, like using more commas and periods to make sure sentences don't just end randomly or go on for a while. The art is pretty good too btw!

Thank you for the feedback! I will make sure to touch up on the grammar and stuff you pointed out when I find the time!