There are some interesting ideas in there, but the execution leaves to be desired. First, the pacing is blazingly fast. We go from event to event without stopping, the conversations say basically the minimum needed to understand the plot, there’s just not much to enjoy about the prose. The idea for the plot is nice, but the characters feel a bit flat due to the pacing (especially Kazuma).
Obviously, the visuals are extremely simple, but what really strikes me is the resolution. Why is the VN taller than it is large? I first thought it was made for a phone in portrait mode, but there’s no android version, so, what gives? The sprites work for your style, but it would have been nice if the perspective for the backgrounds made more sense (ie. they seem to fly in the city bg). The music stays the same for too long but given the pacing, it would be hard to get music that fits better without changing it very often.
Overall, I can’t say it’s good, but congrats on releasing a VN for the jam!