Than, with all due respect, if they find it dehumanizing they need to stop using it all together if your theory has any weight to it, because to me. if you find a term offensive but just use it for clicks, you're perpetuating the 'problem.' And again, important to remember, that's YOUR experience, I've known dozens of transwomen, recently too, that have no qualms about the usage of shemale or futa.
All that being said, as a transgirl myself, my default is transwoman, and as a trans persons myself, I appreciate your perspective, even if I don't wholly agree with it.