[SPOILER REVIEW]
This game is in need of serious writing improvement. Playing the demo gave promising potential for peak, thats why I was even motivated to download it. alas i downloaded the full game based on its promising potential only to be greeted by the most INSUFFERABLE, ANNOYING, OVER DRAMATIC, INSENSITIVE, OBJECTIFYING, REDUNDANT SELF INSERT who has the personality of a lusty fiend. You wrote Jayce so well in comparison that it was whiplash to be in the mind of the so called love interest, who is a shallow person rushing on day 2 and basically being a creep with no sense of control and what she believes is femdom, very laughable at that. in this game you are put in the mind of a creepy girl who is more in love with his cock and his followers and the image of what she believes is him than him as a person, Obviously she cant fall in love with him on day 2 but she can make him cum on a train and profess love for his horse cock on the same day. Very obnoxious FL, Jayce making it clear he has trauma from that bar and her being callous about it and still taking him to the place of his trauma. It was really demystifying being in Jayce's head and coming into hers to see the absolute weirdo he had dedicated his life to. Secondly, the choices amount to absolute fucking nothing, what kind of choices are those that don't affect the plot, theyre just rapey choice 1 and rapey choice 2 and where do they lead to. NOWHERE. This entire arc was filler, no scene amounted to anything of substance, you could cut them out and nothing meaningful would be impacted. The pacing was so fucking slow that I found myself spacing out and wondering why we were still in this scene. Everyone else has a decent character profile except for the self insert, and I don't want to hear that oh no, its so we can self insert into her. Nobody is self inserting into that creep, maybe some of you guys but her personality isn't even ambiguous. She was okay in the beginning before she came into contact into Jayce and she took a swandive to hell on her character and begin this disgustingly unlikeable and awful character who has no goals, no drive, nothing compelling about her. The plot only moves through Jayce and when we get into his head is when we can get a semblance of a plot, never again should we be in her pov AGAIN, until you fix your writing on her cuz my god did i lose my marbles. I knew rape and dark elements were going to be here, obviously but making us the sexual assaulter with no class was just ew worthy. If it was your goal to make the fl an unlikeable, overdramatic, non con weirdo you did a good job at that, but could've used more finesse in making her tolerable from a writing standpoint and not a lusty degenerate. Thirdly, for the love of God I don't understand the point of this arc, you teased Blake all through it but you could've just focused this arc on him instead, build your character web instead of this redundant arc that served nothing. That's why we had the prologue that was peak, we had our introduction to the story on Jayce. If this was supposed to be an introduction to the fl, it was a terrible introduction between the two of them and killed any allure that could be had or interest in the story because of how rushed and disgusting the scenes were. No excuse should come that this is an erotica and it needed erotic scenes. I know that but this was just in poor taste, FL just acting so immature and annoying. Could've gone down the route of Jayce having to pleasure himself or stealing her clothes or whatever if you needed eroticism for erotica sake. Just us being rapey to Jayce at every turn and objectifying him. Also. music could need changes in some places like in the bar when Jayce was challenging her trust and she thought he looked scary, how are we to feel the impact if the music doesn't change to something more chilling to reflect that.
So some very much needed tips and changes;
1. Fix that horrendous FL give her a goal, give meaning to her character than a thirsty shallow weirdo that wants nothing more than to bounce on his cock, maybe that's her goal but please make it better if that's all she wants and give her consequences to her character cuz the one time she was about to hold herself accountable it just flew out the window.
2. Pacing. Please any scenes that do not contribute to serve the plot or amount to anything. scrap it.
3. Stakes, give more stakes at hand for Jayce, you're somehow good at that for him but do it better, erotica would pay off better when you've felt like you've earned it not just mindless pornhub script, unless that's what you were going for. porn with no plot, but you can do better than this, can't you.
4. Choices. Please make these choices count, they do not mean jackshit. Like what purpose did it serve if i chose cake, donuts or whatever, would it come back later in the story like you chose cake so now you're gonna have your cake eaten, you chose donut so now you're gonna have your donut filled. I highly doubt that. What choices are leading us towards a good, bad or whatever ending, not if I want to grab his dick first or grab it later or act like an entitled brat on day 2 of knowing this guy, our first conversation so day 1 to me. Making him so uncomfortable but he later brushed over everything and idolised her obvi cuz he's a yandere, but what's her excuse. I digress, make the choices mean something.
You did well on the art and everything else, thats for certain but not enough, fix your writing or don't. It's your creation but do you really want it to be this lacklustre to be mindless fap material for women to get off on and not a game or story worth anyone's time and something people can revisit, the choice is yours.