Really enjoyed this a lot! I have a lot of very small notes, please take these as the nitpicks that they are and in the interest of helping to make the Module as good as i think it can be!
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for the Print at Home version, it might be nice to change the colored Access Level markers to something that could be printed on a B&W printer. not the end of the world either way, but you could easily make Lab Access into A Grey Highlighted text and the Executive access into a Black Highlighted text. small thing, but i think it would be a nice touch.
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to that end, right now you have room 13 listed on the map as Lab access but didn’t list it in the text block.
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Additionally I think that access should be listed on the doors to get through not on the room itself. again small change but one i think would make more sense over all.
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you have several things that you repeat in total a couple of times in different places, you could save some space in the module by making things like the anesthetic gas into a stat block that is referenced elsewhere. this would be a small hit to overall utility, but seeing as your module is one of the most pick-up-n-play i’ve seen so far i don’t think it would be a big detriment, and it would offer you a fair bit more space for other things (which i’ll talk about in a later point)
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small thing but you go back and forth between some things saying “you have a 50% chance that 1d5 scientist are here” and in other places you list things as a 1 in 2 chance or a 1 in 5 chance, i’d just make everything a % chance to happen. Also to this end i think that the 50% chance would mean the warden rolls a d100, and anything 000-49 is this happens so now roll 1d5 for how many there are, but its not specifically stated… thats okay but might be worth thinking about.
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you have a lot of “Orphan Words” (single word or maybe 2 which have wrapped around to the next line ) this takes up a lot of space and i’m sure with a touch of editing you can reduce these to a minimum!
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You have fairly large Gutters which you could probably reduce by a mm each (not a lot, but it all adds up!) and additionally you have thick boxes around the WHOLE of each panel which again reduce useable space. I’d much rather see thinner boxes that were more individualized to break up the text block, personally…
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Okay the most important for last, I think you have a very fun heist on your hands, and the one thing i think it is missing is part of what makes heist (at least in film) good. You need the Planning Phase! part of why Heist work in cinema is we get to watch a bunch of smart people plan out what they are going to do, recon to get info or ask the guy who used to work for (you know the guy sending you on this heist in the first place) and we watch all of that so that we can TWIST have those plans get messed up and then have to improvise in the moment. its this storytelling arc that makes heists super fun to watch/play. I think you could, with some saved space from the points above, make a nice block about the planning phase, how Richilieu might think to tell the PCs that his recipe was on his terminal in room 12 but then maybe there is a 33% it is in ANY of the labs (which will force the players to improvise). how he suggests you might be able to override the freight elevator, but then due to upped security (Salvator is maybe expecting something since he let Richilieu go) this could easily become a choke point/blood bath… Give the players options, choices of the way they should get in, and for each choice there should be a trigger for the warden that says X% chance that this part of the plan goes tits up… maybe even X% +10% for each time the plan DIDN’T already go tits up so as to guide it to happen later in the plan…
okay that was a lot, but honestly its just because i think this has so much promise! Keep on making rad things!