A diamond in the rough. It needs cutting. The tone is good and the revelation fits the story. I'd structure the NPCs a bit more, they kind of flow together. Give some gang tats or some other marker, change their characteristics wording to be more evocative and less judgmental, and finish their portraits, at least ink them. The investigation is linear, that tends to backfire when players get a clue wrong. Add some redundancy or ex machina pickups for wayward Crews. The text needs editing, there are small mistakes, a doubling, nothing major but it should be fixed. The Black Veil AI made no sense to me, it feels like a placeholder. I think the core of this scenario is great, but it does need a little polish.